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The Life of A Donkey
Who Hates Horses
Created on 2004-05-28 04:31:10 (#3290492), last updated 2004-05-28
2 comments received, 5 comments posted
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Basic Info| Name: | cult_of_donkey |
|---|---|
| Location: | United Kingdom |
Bio
Hello, I am Donkey. Donkeys have been dramatically underappreciated throughout history, with everyone opting for the sluttish magnificence of the horse.
Did a horse bring Mary and Joseph to Nazareth when she was carrying our Lord Jesus Christ, the son of another man? No, it was I, Donkey.
Crap artist's impression of that happy day.
Humble are we, shirking from the limelight in order of pulling things and looking cuter than horses, appearing in A.A Milne books and having gay eyelashes.
You can sit on me in beaches. I will take you down the sandy shore with dedication and love.
But if you ever confuse me for a Shetland pony I will kick you and kick you and kick you until you choke on your own blood.
Donkey myths:
* Donkeys are stubborn: This is wrong. We are persistant and righteous, whereas our detractors are flightly and probably homosexuals.
* Donkeys smell: This is untrue. Donkeys do not access to your deoderants. You smell also, all animals smell. It's just that you, humans, have something to sweeten your bile.
* Donkeys is a good Manics b-side: If you even know this song, please leave now.
* Donkeys kick people a lot: Only if they're stupid.
In this journal, which I am dictating through the apparatus of a man I have recently killed, I will guide you through my life as a donkey, so maybe you will in time come to appreciate our gentle, loving kind.
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